The dreaded gambling slump. I get a shiver just thinking about it. No matter how good of a bettor you think you are or how many parlays you’ve hit in a row, the slump comes for everyone. This time of year is particularly brutal, as the NHL and NBA regular seasons come to a close, and teams either openly stop trying or rest all their stars. Games become nearly impossible to predict, and the betting losses start to pile up. You’ll find yourself in a hole, wondering how you’ll even be able to afford food and Bud Light this week. It’s a dark place.
Never fear, Action Jackson is here. Let’s break down my top five tips for busting out of a gambling slump and getting you back on the winning side of life.
How to Break Out of a Gambling Slump
1. Take a Day Off
Walk outside for the first time in a week. Call your family. Get a plant or something. It doesn’t matter what you do, but just give yourself a chance to breathe. Don’t watch any games, highlights on SportsCenter, or even check Twitter. You are doing a full detox from sports for 24 hours.
This also goes for other types of gambling as well. Don’t switch immediately over to online blackjack, buying lottery tickets, or even playing solitaire. Unplug, give your mind a breather, and get ready to come back refueled, recharged, and refocused.
2. Bet Less Money on Higher Odds
When you do come back, it can be tempting to focus on easy wins and start betting big money on heavy favorites. Please don’t do that. That’d be very stupid. And you’re not stupid right?
When you’re in a hole like this, your focus should be on making money, not necessarily hitting multiple heavy favorite bets. So, what does that mean? Place smaller bets on underdogs and higher payout bets. And no, I’m not talking about parlays. You need to get those out of your vocabulary until your bankroll is at a better place. I’m talking about those bets in the +200 range, like a moneyline underdog or a reasonable player prop.
Obviously, they’re not as likely to hit, which is why we stick to smaller bets. But when they do, you’ll start adding to your bankroll, slowly but surely.
3. Do Some Actual Research
Clearly, you have no idea what you’re doing, but we already knew that. The tendency sometimes can be to switch everything up completely, just to get a change of luck. Maybe bet on women’s tennis or start throwing big bets on college wrestling when you’ve never even watched a match. That’s the exact opposite of what you want to do pal.
Instead of just trusting your gut and hoping you get lucky, try to swing the odds in your favor any way that you can. Pick one or two teams that you actually watch and read up on them. Identify good matchups they have coming up. Shop your lines across multiple books. Take advantage of promotions available that can give you free cash bonuses or higher odds. Find a starting pitcher you like,
kidnap him, and blackmail him into throwing the game for you and wait until he’s pitching to place a bet.
The point is, sometimes you just have to do the work. Yes, it will be frustrating if you do a few hours of research and you still don’t hit your beat. That’s life. Don’t give up and keep at it.
4. Switch Up Your Good Luck Charms
Everyone knows that gambling is equal parts skill and luck. You can take all these tips, make the smartest bet ever, and still lose half your rent check this week if you don’t have one important thing…the blessing of the Gambling Gods.
I’ve covered this in-depth before, but there are very specific actions you must take to appease the gambling gods and improve your luck through superstition and ritual. These actions are based on three main pillars:
- Lucky Charms (lucky shirt, chain, etc.)
- Gambling Routines (standing/sitting, where you sit, how you cross your legs, etc.)
- Surround Yourself With Like-Minded People (good vibes only)
When you’re having bad luck, it’s time to switch one or two of these up. Get a new lucky charm. Start watching the games with new people. Keep the volume at an even instead of an odd number. You need to do whatever it takes to get that edge.
5. Drastically Alter Your Haircut and/or Facial Hair & Flee the Country
If none of this works, I don’t know what to tell you. You are shit out of luck my friend. It’s time to start over, for real this time.
Change your look more drastically than Christian Bale between movie roles. Get a false passport. Fake your own death. Run from your problems and leave your debt behind you. It’s the only choice you really have.