Zach’s Season Record: 104-89
First of all, does ANYBODY have NBA TV? What is this bullshit? I actually have the NBA package and they STILL don’t show the games. I’m more pissed off I missed that game than Suns fans last night after Chris Paul kept playing even though they were up 30 and managed to get hurt again.
I’m here to fill your bank accounts faster than LeBron James running off the court after that Suns curb-stomping the Lakers experienced yesterday. Yeah, I know Anthony Davis was out, but where are players like Kyle Kuzma? What about my pre-season MVP Talen Horton-Tucker? Give him the rock, a green light, and have him take over. Kuzma, for the record, is forever going to be one of the most underachieving Lakers ever… He accepted his position as a role player and barely impresses me. Sort of like John Legend’s music. At least his wife Chrissy Teigen got canceled last week – something is right in the world.
Point Total: Over 229.5 (+100)
Joel Embiid’s injury made me 0-6 betting against the Wizards this season, as Russ and Beal were able to pull together a W and take down the mighty 76ers. But, if Joel is doubtful today, I can’t for sure put money on them to breeze into the second round. At -6 without Joel and “Hack-A-Simmons” a REAL threat to point totals and games, you have to think Washington has a legitimate chance at stealing another game here. Take the WIZ!!! (If I go 0-7 on the Wizards this season, I will recuse myself from writing about them…)
Point Total: Under 208 (-107)
WHY are the Knicks favored in this game? Is it because it is in Madison Square Garden, where spitting fans and NYC energy can take you down? Given the Knicks’ one victory in this series and the history of the arena we all WANT to see another W in Manhattan – but I promise you WE WON’T. Capela will be booed for his “dirty play” comments. Trae will be booed for his thinning hairline, and MSG will be on fire. But the Atlanta Hawks are so much more confident than the New York Knicks right now. With Julius Randle currently playing more like he actually works at an Orange Julius, I see Atlanta wrapping this series up tonight and by 5-7 points.
208 is a low number. But I’m going with the under here – I sort of sense a Garden-silencing blowout and each team to walk through the 4th quarter as Ice Trae cools his arms and shouts out, “It got awfully quiet in here…”
Point Total: Over 217 (-110)
While one LA team is reeling, the other is ROLLING as Kawhi Leonard and Paul George suddenly look like they care about basketball again. But, after Luka Dončić announced his strange neck injury, does Dallas have what it takes to go up 3-2 at home? IMPOSSIBLE to tell. If Luka is hurt, the Clippers win this one. If not, the Mavericks can win on the road. I’m NOT BETTING ON THIS until I know Luka is okay. My gut feeling is, go with the MAVERICKS, however.
Points-wise, can they hit 217? Depends on Luka again. I hate injuries. Take the OVER and pray everybody is performing at a high clip…
Point Total: Under 229.5 (-135)
This is a tough game to call but in Utah, the Jazz should cruise to the second round tonight. Memphis’ victory all came down to Donovan Mitchell sitting out in Game 1. Now that he’s back, the star is shining, and as fun as Ja Morant is, the Grizzlies don’t have enough to steal this one in Utah. (9.5 points is a LARGE number, however, and could possibly bite me in the end.)
Points-wise, I’d take the under here – 230 points? This isn’t Damian Lillard dropping 55 territory, this is a defensive-minded team defending their home turf. The Jazz are awake and rolling – let’s see where it goes… like Jazz! Which, by the way, is still the worst name for any Utah team. The Pelicans and Jazz should trade nicknames next season.
Four games! Blow off work, enjoy your evening, and Dogecoin me your winnings.